Being in a long (very long) distance relationship, I've learned that there are many positives and negatives found in such a commitment between two loved ones. Tonight, I want to discuss some of these briefly.
Positive - Deeper communication:
Most communication is done through body language, I've heard roughly around 95 percent. That means, the remaining five percent is audibly. Now, take away that 95 percent and make ALL of your communication rely upon just talking. Over time you will get to know that person very well and quickly. You will learn their ticks, jokes, sarcasms and something extremely important, you'll learn to comprehend and listen better. A lot of people might say that's a bad thing, but I disagree, especially if you love that person. One thing that I have found cool about long distance is that you get to know that person in a very interesting and different way. My girlfriend and I talk almost every morning and night, and for the most part we have a set schedule. Now I may not like that I don't get to hold her and be there physically, but emotionally I'm always there. Being there to listen has allowed us to become best friends.
Negative - Lack of physical intimacy:
One thing that sucks is the lack of physical intimacy, but that's what all the talking is for. Trust me, you can be intimate with someone without having to hold and kiss them, even though the latter is more fun. We don't get to cuddle hardly as much as we would like, but we know it's only a matter of time before we will be together - permanently. I've been told by many people to enjoy being young and free and I can understand their points, but if you're happy with that person why listen to someone else? I don't want to look at life like it's a sprint, that means it's too short. I'd rather run the marathon and take a chance at being truly happy with someone special for the rest of my life.
Positive - You get to focus on your identity:
Of course you have to schedule things around your chats, but you still get some freedom to learn and grow without having to spend every moment with that person throughout the day. You can continue school, focus on your job, work on your hobbies, etc. You get to enjoy the things you love just a little bit longer that maybe they wouldn't be so much into and vice versa. It also gives you time to "figure things out" without having to give up someone you really do care about. Many people will use long distance as a reason or excuse to break up. One of my favorite quotes comes from the Rock. He said:
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| Photo from Google Images. |
Negative - You will miss them all the time:
This is an obvious one. You will think about them all the time. You will worry, you will be stressed, but you will grow to love them more and more with each passing day. In all honesty, it will be the same in a local relationship except you won't go home physically to that person until one or both of us decide to move. This negative has actually turned out to be a positive for me, but note it doesn't work for everyone.
Positive - You're exposed to different customs and cultures:
Dating someone who lives somewhere else means you get to travel on occasion. When you do travel, you have a place to stay, and someone very special to spend the majority of your time with. They will take you to interesting places and be willing to show you around. They will also introduce you to people you would have never met and you'll make new friends. Something else, they'll take very good care of you. This gives you a great opportunity to open up your mind to the world and see it through someone else's eyes.
Negative - You're not there:
This alone can just be a problem, period. In a relationship like this, you must truly love and trust the other person. You also have to be willing to forgive. When you get in cyber fights (yes those exist) you can't just walk up behind that person and give them a hug and say "I'm sorry". It's not that easy and if you're not willing to cooperate, it can decimate your relationship within minutes. Just like in any relationship, you have to know your boundaries and theirs. You'll analyze every message before you send it, especially if you two are fighting. The main thing and most important is to always love them and not give up no matter how troublesome things may be.
Last positive - In the end, it's worth it:
When you two are finally together, you'll know in it's entirety that the distance was all worth it. The emotional connection between you two will be unimaginable and you'll both know how to overcome practically any obstacle in the future, for the most part. In the end, you'll be able to show everyone just how special that person truly is.
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